Tuesday, February 10, 2009
This is me, Tuesday, 4:36 PM Central Time, on the deck, working. I was just at the gym - !!! - so my hair is wet. Only one purple flower in the photo, but lots more nearby. I am sending the bright, warm sunshine and light breeze to those of you wherever it is snowing, cold, raining, dark or all of the above. It's about 68, just enough for light jeans and later a sweater, and this hills behind me have long afternoon shadows in the fading light, as the sun sets behind them, into the Pacific.
Today I was thinking a lot about independence, and marriage, and balancing those two things for a lifetime. And everyone thinks they're doing things right, of course, so I'll join everyone and tell you something I think I'm doing right, at the moment.
I miss John terribly, I wish he were here experiencing Latin culture and taking in the sun and eating dinner with me at night, but there is something sweet about us having a breath to ourselves... a little time (14 weeks being little in the grand scheme) to remember who we are as individuals, to stop in this pause and be present to it, whatever it is each day, when it's fun, sad, lonely, exhilarating, easier today, harder today, on and on. I think this time apart is a gift for two people who fiercely want to remain independent and also turn into the relationship as the most important thing in our lives. It's a time to learn that balance and return to each other in May, centered, matured, leaping into a new stage of love.
I suppose it's a long winded way of saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder. So I think I am saying that, yes, perhaps this absence will make our hearts grow fonder... both for each other and also for who we are as individuals. For how we create and live our partnership.
So it's a nice day in the sunshine here, and today was a good day.