Like a three day weekend… except nothing like it.

But, a three day review instead!

Tuesday: no new foods added. I made it through work only because of forward momentum. An object in motion tends to stay in motion, and it was a 'hafta' be there day so once I got up, I was going. I fevered, sweated, panted and phlegm-couughed through the day.

Wednesday: I could only recognize what feeling like 50% was like today, in comparison to realizing yesterday was a 25% day. And best of all: avocado! And real sauerkraut! Both went great during the day, so I took the big leap and make pancakes.

These are not pancakes.

They are a puree of eggs, raw zucchini, and nut butter of your choice. (Respond to the next thing you're asked with, "Nut butter of my choice," and you will get a laugh.)

They LOOKED a lot like pancakes. They did not taste like pancakes. But they tasted a little like nut butter, and between that and avocado, my palate is doing cartwheels of joy at all these exciting flavors. I bet you never thought that avocado was sweet - but it is to me!

Thursday: Only new food added was a different type of nut butter. Cashew. What?! Have you had this? It tasted so sweet I couldn't finish the tablespoon. I know that sounds crazy. But it truly happened. And as I write this, I wouldn't quite call my health 75% - that would be a leap too optimistic for this couch-happy West-Wing watcher, but 55% - I'm solidly confident about that.

Death on a Triscuit

That's a West Wing line and a good description of how I woke up this morning. And so despite being absolutely vital to the work day - I could not get up. A 102 degree fever, exhaustion, coughing, congestion, weakness - I have been laying around all day. It is harder for me to NOT go to work, than to go, when I am sick. There were a lot of tears this morning.

I added ghee and eggs to the menu today - not just the egg yolks as prescribed. I really felt I needed the whole thing. I increased my tablespoons of fermented juice (aka sauerkraut juice). I tried raw ginger tea. I still can't taste a thing! And I still can't decide if I have the flu or if these are so-called die-off symptoms. Which apparently can look exactly like flu, complete with mucous buildup.

Because let's get real here, people. If you're reading this blog, you know me. And so yes - for sure - a good 47% of me thinks this whole thing is total junk science and absolute bunk. It's like fluoride being a brain poison. It's like a cayenne-lemon detox diet that shockingly helps you lose weight by not eating for 7 to 10 days (duh)!

But then, I have long followed the emerging science on gut bacteria. And I read articles like this one, from no-bullshit Michael Pollan (who also published a pate de choux recipe of ease this week, that torturer!). That is a long article but if you want to come up to speed on the gut biome, it is worth your time. It includes the sentence, and evidence to support:

• Medical science may be on the trail of a Grand Unified Theory of Chronic Disease, at the very heart of which we will find the gut microbiome.

Crazy! So I guess 53% of me, albeit skeptically, is willing to keep pushing through this, and see what can happen. Can one do a hard reset on their gut biome? Can I?

Decompression.

I was out for dinner last night with a friend, and the first five minutes or so were a bit off, as I was "coming down" from work. That's the thing not just about interactions with or for the Boss... but about the casework. I'm a government employee now, so it's a common belief that I leave work and forget the woes of others. Problem is, I'm not very forgetful.

This week, I woke up one night at 2:35 AM and laid awake for almost an hour, mulling over two new folks I've been assisting, and their place in the maze of immigration-toward-citizenship, and what I either forgot to tell them or what I needed to do more research into. When that hour was nearly up, I did not fall asleep - I had to move to the guest room because the quiet breathing (no snoring even!) of my husband was still keeping me up. I needed absolute silence to get out of the thought circle.

Tonight, I'm drinking some wine and watching my binky show, and I've forgotten the details of which case was keeping me on edge tonight. But a psychologist or a life coach or a counselor would still have a field day... I can't remember for the life of me what was in the ever-looping thought circle just an hour ago, but I still FEEL it! Low, persistent anxiety... the sense that the right answer is just out of my vision's edge... the worry that I won't be back at my desk til Monday, and they have to go all weekend in radio silence...

Happy Friday?

Another husband laugh.

While watching "The West Wing" he says to me...

"I like President Bartlett better than President Obama. He's less scripted. If that's somehow possible."

Who knew? I'm a Blazers fan!

My cousin took me to my first professional basketball game tonight, and it wasn't even the Montinore wine or the Zenner's hot dog (gotta love Portland) that made it so great... I really liked watching the game! It was surprising to me that I was more drawn to watching the court than the jumbotron TV; now THAT is some wholesome American fun!

And yes, I already have a favorite player. Who, you ask? Is it cutie pie LaMarcus Aldridge? Rockstar Brandon Roy? Pshaw. I say pshaw to that.

Why, it's Mr. Rodney Grant, the Associate Director of the President's Council on Physical Fitness... who also played a little organized ball with his friends. Back at Duke.

And there are many reasons to love Juwan Howard but his presence on The West Wing - yes, President Bartlet's Council, not President Obama's - makes him my Blazer from here on out.

What Makes It Work?

Every time I read Pride and Prejudice, I hope and hope and hope Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth will get together, and am delighted when they do.

When Casablanca is on, I always think Rick and Ilsa will find a way.

Throughout the Alanna YA series, I will never stop rooting for the royal Jonathon over the slick, sexy thief George. (Seriously; check it out.)

Logan kissing Veronica? On the balcony of that cheap hotel? GOOD TIMES, every time. (I'm not posting this kiss; put in the time with the DVDs and live the thrill.)

Lame as it might be... no matter the production -- on stage, on film, on paper -- I scream inside my head for Juliet to wake up earlier than she does. (Damn that Balthazar!!! This is why timeliness is important!)

When Gilbert survives his fever, I am deeply relieved and it is the only time I agree that, yes, joy cometh in the morning.

Josh actually survives a shooting; Leo takes a drink!!!!; Ainsley makes me rethink the ERA; CJ laughs in the face of Marion Coatsworth Haye; the President gets high on pain pills. And every time - or time after time, John might say - it is funny, heartwarming, surprising and thought-provoking. Yup.



So, it works. The first time, the next time, and the 50th time. And I am comforted in the enduring legacy of high art, low art, entertainment and flash with or without substance. But those things work for me; what makes it work for you?

In like a lion...

... is what March should be. Well, here it was pretty quiet. I had a quiet little weekend and there was no 'weather' to speak of, as the Midwesterners say. Just the regular wind, the regular sunshine, the regular coffee on the patio in 82 degrees.

So, a brief diversion tonight. A few things:

• I have now bought things I would never, I mean never, have bought in the USA. The first is bottled water. I broke down after a week in the new place. Costa Rica has treated water, it reeks of chlorine and should be a-ok for the digestion... but, ah, no. So after seven days, I've bought a huge bottle of water for this week as I reset my Delicate System. You can just call me Josh Lyman.
• The second: I also bought mayonnaise in a bag that pours from a spout. I will photograph this if you have not seen it. Now... me buying mayo should come as no surprise. But in a weird plastic bag with a spout? It is interesting. (I skipped the incredibly popular Mayo-with-Lime this time. Lime is in EVERYTHING here. In plantain chips? YES. In mayo? Eh... NO.)
  
• The third: I spent too much money on a sweater from MANGO today. MANGO, or MNG, is the more upscale Argentinian department store. I tried it on, I loved it, and I thought, nope, you can't spend 25,000 colones on a sweater. Then my shopping companion asked, "Yeah, but will you wear it?" And I realized, yes. Yes I will. This is the sort of sweater that I will wear for ten years and then bemoan not buying two. I will debut it around the wedding time, I promise. It is perfection in a light pink, vintagey-looking package.

In closing, Arthur and his magical Mac skills are not lost on many of you. This weekend, it meant that he figured out some way of transporting to me, through Advanced Transfiguration classes maybe? or his innate non-Muggleness?, copies of both "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset." (Teh Internetz Rool!) There is a chance I have made you watch these films. If I have not...

Look, really, I love being your friend. I love being part of your family. But if you don't at least like these movies a bit (or hopefully love them to a sort of unhealthy degree) we can't be friends or family anymore. I'm sorry. I really am. But this is more than cinematic perfection, though it is that. It is life at its best, it is the ages of 23 and 34 captured with vision, understanding, compassion, humor, heartbreak and artistry. We just can't be friends if you don't love these two films. (Though if you do, can we debate which is better and why? I might die of excitement.)

And now! And now! I can watch them anytime I want and I will never, ever, ever, forget them again. I watched "Before Sunrise" on VHS for the first time when I was 15, a year after it came out. I dragged John to "Before Sunset" in 2004, when we were first dating, on opening weekend. They are probably unnatural influences on my life, but there you have it. (Not probably. They are.) I can't blog with a focused mind anymore, because I am off to watch "Before Sunrise." Again. Thanks to Mom for buying the DVDs many years ago - they're nearly worn out! - and thanks, muchisimas, to Arthur. Either for appreciating my obsession with the films, or for sending me a digital fix, mainlined. Uh, you know. Whichever way you like to look at it.





(Side note. These films remind me of many people, many times in my life, many memories good and bad. But I am often, recently, reminded of Adrienna the most when I watch them. She is very amazing.)

Creature Comforts.

If you were packing for three-and-a-half months in a foreign country, what would you bring? I am not the world's best packer, in any situation, so this one flummoxed me a bit, and now that I've been here just shy of five weeks, I have come to a few realizations.

First, after the crying jag and emotional stress of last Friday and the alarm night... I soothed myself with The West Wing. Yes, that's right. My obsession with that show dominates the tiny, 12-disc carrying case I brought. The iPod and the iTunes mean you never have to waste space with a CD again, so I brought 13 DVDs:

High Fidelity

Almost Famous (the director's cut)

Marie Antionette

and ten discs of the West Wing. (In case you care, I brought the last two discs of season 1 and all of season 2.)

The West Wing is like chamomile tea for my soul, it's like a glass of whiskey at night or a toddler's la-la. It was definitely the right choice.

High Fidelity is my number one movie of all time (yeah, yeah, Bill, I KNOW, shut up! on the WW too!) and Almost Famous is a close second. Marie Antionette, the Coppola one, is the kind of thing I would normally hate, but it is a movie I love to watch when I need some mental reorganization. It's like a film version of meditation for me.

But I would have, should have, sacrificed two spots for Before Sunrise and Before Sunset. What was I thinking!?!?!? That's got talking, love, humor, foreign countries, and everything I need. Big mistake. I miss them.

On the clothes front... I didn't bring enough nice stuff - it's all beat up cotton tanks and boring tee shirts. I did not bring enough shoes, I am bored with my choices and one pair of sneakers? Am I an idiot? I did bring more than enough underthings (thank goodness) and I wish I had more light, cardigan-y things for the cool evenings.

I caught a little Oprah the other day, it was a special on how the recession is affecting real people. The people interviewed, living in shelters, cars and tent camps (or one couple living in their office after losing the house), were all former car-owners, homeowners, and employed in middle class jobs. The thing they all shared was, when asked what things they missed most: a hot shower whenever they wanted it. It made me grateful for my toothpaste, my hot shower, my soft bed, and also to have the luck to enjoy the silly, indulgent, time-wasting, reassuring desserts I brought with me: DVDs, two great long juicy books, a couple pretty scarves.