Tuesday, May 4, 2010


I really am still thinking about the things that those who love me would like to see me do, as written about here. And I came up with two really good areas of thought... prompted by you, the reader/commenters!

First, the people who love me and have my best interests at heart are much, much softer on me than I am on myself. They're not telling me to buy a house now. They're not telling me to start a family now. They're gently telling me to write some more, yes, but not harshly -- instead, with joy. So rather than focus on the THINGS I "should" be doing, better to focus on the "how" that I do them.

Secondly, and much more importantly, Jordan pointed out in the comments that while the thing we may want, or the thing we may be told to do, is tangible... that's only half the point. (Or less!) We may be told to start a tea shop that also sells organic flowers, or it may be our heart's desire... but if I can go a level deeper than that, what do I find? The tea, the flowers, the being my own boss... those are about financial independence, calm environments, beautiful things. Starting a family? That's about sharing more love with the world, or rising to a new challenge. Buying a home? That's about creating a cocoon, a sanctuary, and a place to host these people I love so fiercely.

For me, I came up with:
- writing more is about telling more stories and flexing what I think is my universe-given best skill;
- being softer on others and less judgmental are also about being softer on myself and giving those I love a lot more leeway.

How 'bout your things? Who is telling you to do what... and when you go one layer deeper, what is the greater meaning of these tangible changes you wish to make?

1 comment:

  1. Bravo! Good spiritual work Em! Not to mention your writing benefits so many others, people you touch and people you don't.

    Going on to the deeper level who is telling you what to do has more to do with your first paragraph - "I SHOULD".... I think the key is that one is typically harsher on one's self than others. More compassion for yourself spells infinitely more compassion for others. YOU are the one who demands what you SHOULD be doing. As my telephonic church said the other day "where did that come from? " Why SHOULD you have to do anything? we place such high demands on ourselves born from our value system - some of them are super important and necessary codes of conduct, etc. But its valuable to understand that ultimately you are in control of you and the "should" really is self-imposed.

    Having said that, I do think that writing for you is necessary part of yourself and you "should" do it often - ha!

    with love