Me: Am I too hard on Person X? (Name has been removed to protect the innocent.)
John: What do you mean, too hard?
Me: I don't know... you know... too hard on them, with my opinions and ideas and stuff... you know, too hard on X so that they won't want tell me about their life, like, fully.
John: Well, no.
Me: (sigh) (of relief)
John: I mean, you're not any harder on X than you are on everyone else.
Me: (sigh) (of resignation)
John: And yet, they all do still tell you everything. It is a mystery.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Pro/Con
Just another reason I adore my husband? When contemplating what we'd do if we won the big Powerball lottery, he said, with glee and absolute seriousness, "I'd become a professional student."
"Oh, yeah?" I replied. "You'd finally get that Ph.D. in economics?"
"Yeah!"
"From where?"
"Well, I'm a millionaire, so the London School of Economics to start." I laughed and he thought about the other degrees and area of study he could devote his life to.
Don't forget, marriage is about pros AND cons.
For example, I said I'd become professionally awesome, and a professional taker-of-my-friends-on-trips. But based out of London to start, of course!
"Oh, yeah?" I replied. "You'd finally get that Ph.D. in economics?"
"Yeah!"
"From where?"
"Well, I'm a millionaire, so the London School of Economics to start." I laughed and he thought about the other degrees and area of study he could devote his life to.
Don't forget, marriage is about pros AND cons.
For example, I said I'd become professionally awesome, and a professional taker-of-my-friends-on-trips. But based out of London to start, of course!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Down, down, down we go...
So, a Weight Watchers update on me and John - for those looking to cheer*, to scold**, to take inspiration*** or derive jealousy**** from:
I'm down 23 pounds and John's down 42. (!!) As for the high point and the low point so far...
While I dearly love Ann Taylor LOFT for letting me fit into a size 2 skirt at the outlet malls last weekend (and for $13 I sort of had to buy it, so they are the real winner), I also know better that I'm about a 6 right now. And THAT feels as great as a 2 ever could, don't get me wrong! It's basically the size I was back at age 23, when I lived alone over the winter on Cape Cod and only had one friend and ran on the beach a few days a week AND didn't know how to cook yet.
As for the downside, I am now cold most of the time. It is a noticeable difference from last autumn. Sure, I've always had cold fingers and toes, but I have never been downright shivery for much of the day! I am surprised, and not pleased about this. But since I have to buy all new clothes anyway, I guess it's just time to implement a style based on layers and buy a second (or third) pair of fleece jammie pants.
I'm down 23 pounds and John's down 42. (!!) As for the high point and the low point so far...
While I dearly love Ann Taylor LOFT for letting me fit into a size 2 skirt at the outlet malls last weekend (and for $13 I sort of had to buy it, so they are the real winner), I also know better that I'm about a 6 right now. And THAT feels as great as a 2 ever could, don't get me wrong! It's basically the size I was back at age 23, when I lived alone over the winter on Cape Cod and only had one friend and ran on the beach a few days a week AND didn't know how to cook yet.
As for the downside, I am now cold most of the time. It is a noticeable difference from last autumn. Sure, I've always had cold fingers and toes, but I have never been downright shivery for much of the day! I am surprised, and not pleased about this. But since I have to buy all new clothes anyway, I guess it's just time to implement a style based on layers and buy a second (or third) pair of fleece jammie pants.
* many, many friends are wonderfully supportive and take joy in our success;
** some friends tell me I shouldn't even care about losing weight, or about maintaining a silly number on the scale - and some hear the number 23 and say, don't lose any more!;
*** I think I can safely be held partially or wholly responsible for about 4.5 other people joining in the last few months;
**** well, yes, it's very rare but we're Americans and this is weight loss - pretending this doesn't exist is just a lie.
** some friends tell me I shouldn't even care about losing weight, or about maintaining a silly number on the scale - and some hear the number 23 and say, don't lose any more!;
*** I think I can safely be held partially or wholly responsible for about 4.5 other people joining in the last few months;
**** well, yes, it's very rare but we're Americans and this is weight loss - pretending this doesn't exist is just a lie.
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Briefly: November's Re-Read
I'm re-reading Little Women - for the first time ever. I read it at age 10 or 11, and never went back to it. I'm not sure why; I think it may have been a little religious for my taste?
The fun part so far is that I assumed everyone was a Jo, everyone loved Jo the most, and everyone wanted to hang out with Jo - but now, in my (ahem) old age, I'm seeing that in fact, no - Jo is not the only way to be. That's something new to contemplate. The ways I was Jo, or am, and the ways I'm not, or wasn't - it's the classic standby in literature for young women that divides a personality into characters, giving us a lens through which to grow. That never stops being enjoyable, no matter how old I get, and it's nice to get Alcott's lesson almost two decades after it was intended!
The other bonus is that I don't really remember what happens (other than a few major events), so it's a combination of nostalgia and discovery - a more pleasant November re-read, I can't imagine.
The fun part so far is that I assumed everyone was a Jo, everyone loved Jo the most, and everyone wanted to hang out with Jo - but now, in my (ahem) old age, I'm seeing that in fact, no - Jo is not the only way to be. That's something new to contemplate. The ways I was Jo, or am, and the ways I'm not, or wasn't - it's the classic standby in literature for young women that divides a personality into characters, giving us a lens through which to grow. That never stops being enjoyable, no matter how old I get, and it's nice to get Alcott's lesson almost two decades after it was intended!
The other bonus is that I don't really remember what happens (other than a few major events), so it's a combination of nostalgia and discovery - a more pleasant November re-read, I can't imagine.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Why do we have Netflix?
(This will not be a post bitching about Netflix pricing. I maintain that if the leap from $12 a month to $18 a month hurts your finances that much... then you, my friend, have bigger financial problems than your DVD/DVD+streaming/streaming subscription(s).)
No, instead, we have it so that I can start watching the old TV show thirtysomething! I remember my parents always watched it, and I thought, heck, I'm 30 now. Let's see what it was about in the 80s instead of in the 20teens. Two episodes in, I notice:
No, instead, we have it so that I can start watching the old TV show thirtysomething! I remember my parents always watched it, and I thought, heck, I'm 30 now. Let's see what it was about in the 80s instead of in the 20teens. Two episodes in, I notice:
- the clothes are amazing;
- Timothy Busfield is shockingly less handsome as a young man than as an older man;
- sound mixing has evolved leaps and bounds;
- the conversations are more realistic, and about more universal subjects, than on any sitcom I've taken in in a long while. Hmm.
Monday, November 14, 2011
So, I got an iPhone...
... and some people may have noticed I am doing even LESS phone-calling than I was doing before. (Bill, I know you think this is impossible. Turns out it is not!) And I think the iPhone promotes this. It's such a handy little personal computer, such an intimate little screen all customized for you - that the actual phone call feels like nothing but an intrusion. Conspiracy? Or maybe Steve Jobs hated talking on the phone, too, and he just brought us all along with him. You never know.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
2 Things to Love
About Being an Adult.
One: I can stay out late on a school night, ahem, work night, and sure, I might be tired the next day, but no one yells at me for staying out, no one tells me I can't go to bed at 8 the next night, and the bartender will happily serve you till whenever! (Take a cab, friends. Last night was not truly late enough to need one but you know those nights. Last night was just a reminder that I get to do what I want!)
Two: I love being able to say, "You know what, BFF, we should go to New York City someday! We should go out to eat, see the sights, spend too much money, try to learn the Subway lines and watch the leaves fall in Central Park."
And then your bestie, who is also an adult, says, "Yeah! We should! How about this fall?"
And then you get on a plane and take the trip. It's the kind of thing I dreamed about doing when I was a teenager and said to myself, "I"ll be the kind of adult who does this." And now I am. Hello, Big Apple!
One: I can stay out late on a school night, ahem, work night, and sure, I might be tired the next day, but no one yells at me for staying out, no one tells me I can't go to bed at 8 the next night, and the bartender will happily serve you till whenever! (Take a cab, friends. Last night was not truly late enough to need one but you know those nights. Last night was just a reminder that I get to do what I want!)
Two: I love being able to say, "You know what, BFF, we should go to New York City someday! We should go out to eat, see the sights, spend too much money, try to learn the Subway lines and watch the leaves fall in Central Park."
And then your bestie, who is also an adult, says, "Yeah! We should! How about this fall?"
And then you get on a plane and take the trip. It's the kind of thing I dreamed about doing when I was a teenager and said to myself, "I"ll be the kind of adult who does this." And now I am. Hello, Big Apple!
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Unexpected
So here's a funny one. When you are on Weight Watchers, you have NSVs... non-scale victories. This would be something like losing inches, fitting into an old shirt you loved, or truly feeling satisfied with a very small dessert.
An NSV in our house this week? I had to get rid of two belts.
And now they fit John.
Reduce! Reuse! Recycle!
An NSV in our house this week? I had to get rid of two belts.
And now they fit John.
Reduce! Reuse! Recycle!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Answer.
Last week, my phone rang at 5 AM sharp. It was one of my oldest friends, from high school, whom I just celebrated my 30th with in Texas on a girls' trip (four of us met up, from all across the country and time zones - yeah Class of 99!). This friend has three small children, and sometimes crosses wires about said time zone changes, understandably. I immediately thought, it's 8 AM there and she just dropped the kids at preschool. I know they start at 8:15 and go until 11:15 AM. She probably forgot it's only 5 here.
So I hit the silent button, and stopped John from putting on his gym clothes and heading to our elliptical machine. "That was my phone, not your alarm, babe," and he confusedly went back to sleep. I sent her a text, "its 5 am you woke us up". I was thinking about the olden days of ten or twelve years ago, when a drunken phone call was not uncommon from my friends or myself, and hilarious voice messages or conversations ensued.
She texted back immediately: "[name of her brother] died".
I leapt out of bed and called back, profusely apologizing and hearing the story of a car accident that happened 3/4 of the way across the country only a few hours earlier. "I'm sorry I called so early, I was sitting here waiting, and I just couldn't wait anymore."
So this is a reminder to answer my damn phone when it rings.
And it's been a reminder all week that you can't live every day like it is your last - you can't say goodbye to those you love like you'll never see them again after every cup of coffee, every dinner out, every phone conversation - but you can be present with them each and every time you see or speak to them, and be sure you never miss an opportunity to listen to them, to love them, to be right there with them and not halfway on to the next thing.
So I hit the silent button, and stopped John from putting on his gym clothes and heading to our elliptical machine. "That was my phone, not your alarm, babe," and he confusedly went back to sleep. I sent her a text, "its 5 am you woke us up". I was thinking about the olden days of ten or twelve years ago, when a drunken phone call was not uncommon from my friends or myself, and hilarious voice messages or conversations ensued.
She texted back immediately: "[name of her brother] died".
I leapt out of bed and called back, profusely apologizing and hearing the story of a car accident that happened 3/4 of the way across the country only a few hours earlier. "I'm sorry I called so early, I was sitting here waiting, and I just couldn't wait anymore."
So this is a reminder to answer my damn phone when it rings.
And it's been a reminder all week that you can't live every day like it is your last - you can't say goodbye to those you love like you'll never see them again after every cup of coffee, every dinner out, every phone conversation - but you can be present with them each and every time you see or speak to them, and be sure you never miss an opportunity to listen to them, to love them, to be right there with them and not halfway on to the next thing.
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