#5 of 5

Fifth most annoying thing about being virtually one handed for 2.5 more weeks: squeezing toothpaste onto your toothbrush.

The Report: from yesterday

• Two separate parties of skiers triggered avalanches near Frazier Lake in the northern Bridger Range. The first group of three skinned to the top of long and popular east facing chute (>45 degrees). The first skier triggered a slide that broke 18” deep about 1⁄2 way down the run, but managed to ski out of it. This slide likely broke on the weak interface between the old and new snow.

• A second group decided to ski a nearby steep slope (also >45 degrees) slightly to the north. They were unaware of the previous avalanche. The first skier safely descended the run. The second skier had the slope break on his first turn. He tumbled over 1,000 feet through rocks and was almost fully buried. By wiggling his head and using his free arm he was able to dig himself out. His femur was broken, but luckily it was not an open fracture. His partner shouted to the other group who returned to help. A cell phone call to Gallatin County Search and Rescue got rescuers and a helicopter to the scene. He was evacuated with only minutes of daylight to spare.

The second skier was my big brother, who, being a preeminent big brother, can survive anything in my mind.

This now includes 1,000 feet in an avalanche slide that also included an enormous drop over a cliff. It now includes a broken femur, and a dig - with help, though not explicitly mentioned above - out of the snow, and a 200 yard drag to a better helicopter landing site.

It also makes him a bionic big brother, who has a titanium rod in his thigh... who also took his first steps today, less than 24 hours out of surgery.

There will be notes about it in the posts to come, but in the meantime, thanks for your thoughts and thanks to the universe for missed rocks, muscle memory and big brothers (mine and the fellow rescuers).

Pillow Talk

Before bed last week:

Me, reading "Endurance" about the epic Antarctic Shackleton expedition in 1914-16, to John: "They kill seals! With their bare hands almost! Now they're killing the dogs! Ahh, they haven't changed their underwear in five months! Whoa, they are using ice for toilet paper!"

John, reading "The Universe in a Nutshell" by Stephen Hawking, to no one in particular as he picks up the book with a sigh: "Oh Hawking, you incomprehensible genius."

Jargon

While I'm using Google to frantically search "nonarticulated fracture" and "interphalangeal joint" to understand my x-ray results... to understand them more than "CHRIST, MY FINGER IS BROKEN" and then shuddering violently at the idea of hand surgery... ugh, shudder... violently... I must say it is not very nice, Mr. Radiologist Lab Dude, to tell me - in writing! - that the rest of my metacarpals are "unremarkable."

You, sir, did not see all the football catches I made in practice before the one I missed broke the proximal phalanx of my left index finger. They were great, and rather remarkable, if I do say so myself.

Healing Lessons

Many things learned from a broken index finger, so far, not the least of which is that typing takes a while...

Also, in the way your gramma told you put on clean underwear in case you're hit by a bus, I'm telling you you should do the dishes before leaving the house. Because if you break a finger with a sink full of dishes waiting at home, your spouse will be too busy taking you for x-rays and making you meals (adding to the dish pile...) and thus not have the time or the fortitude to wash the ever-more-intimidating pile.

Huh?

In an article about home improvement stores trying to cater to 50% of their customers - women - this line was included:

• True Value recently opened a corporate-owned store near Chicago that had wider aisles, better lighting and clear signs, part of an effort to attract women.

Wait, are we handicapped? Have bad vision?

Enter the Feminist.

I am really tired of having to soften my feminist views. So, instead of being tired of it, I'm giving it up. I no longer fear being called a Feminazi, and I'm no longer letting it slide by when something sexist or purposely/offensively heteronormative (or cisgender, if I want to be even more sensitive) gets tossed out there. I'm calling bullshit on it, and I don't have to have a sense of humor anymore.

When I was younger, I had no sense of humor about it and it was annoying. Because I was 19 and didn't know much about the world. But ten years of trying to be friendly and palatable about feminism is enough. I've seen a little more of the world now, and if something isn't funny or creative or thoughtful, I am not going to be the one who softens it with niceties.

Why all the ire? Did someone discriminate against me recently? Nope, not at all. I went to the annual Planned Parenthood Lunch in Portland this week, for the regional PP provider, and it fired me up.

There are a couple gems from the keynote that I want to share, but I'll start with the most-quoted line from it, regarding the protesters who claim PP targets black women and black babies, thus (in the theory of the great keynote speaker) associating donations to PP with racism, and driving away support:

These people are the pimples on the ass of time.

Man, she was great.

Do you Twitter?

I do not. However, it is worth your time to read the "feed" of "Rahm Emanuel". Those are not misplaced quotes a la this hilarious grammar-nerd blog, but properly placed, since the Twitter account is not, of course, that of Chicago mayor contender Rahm Emanuel.

However, with tweets like this from the Bears-Packers championship game when the third string quarterback was sent in:

• Jesus fucking Christ. They're just pulling people out of the fucking stands to be quarterback at this point, aren't they?

And then tweets like this, from his TV viewing of half State of the Union, half "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant" marathon:

• I thought the speech was pretty great. I mean, it's a tough situat... HOW THE FUCK DOES SHE NOT KNOW SHE'S FUCKING PREGANT?!

it is a gem. And not for those who don't like swearing, clearly. Enjoy it here: http://twitter.com/mayoremanuel/

8.95 months later

Remember this? It was a trackback to an even earlier post, about giving a wedding gift to a relative and how long is too long for her to wait to cash the check.

Well, I wrote that check on May 27th and it was cashed today, a few days before the baby is born... the baby conceived on the honeymoon after the wedding for which I wrote said check.

A couple days shy of nine months is TOO LONG! It's official. And the saga is over, at least.

When the sun comes out...

During an Oregon winter, I notice two things...

It's 5:20 PM and not pitch-black! We're movin' on up!

And yowza, you can really see the dust in my house with all this direct, natural light...